Observations of an Owl
by Danny He
Summary: Not everything is where it is because it wants to be there, and there are a good number of beings out there who are condemned to live the lives they live.


**Observations of an Owl**

That twat of a Unicorn is going to be the death of me. He's running me ragged with all these "jobs" that I need to take care of, and in this pathetic body I can only handle so much. I am still the best at what I do; I just find it insanely difficult to perform these tasks as a damn owl. He did say though, that after my job is done, then not only will I get a hefty sum of bits as my reward, but I'll also be able to revert back to my original form. I can't wait to have that body back, and have it replace this pathetic capsule.

Recently, I got another letter from him, and it seems he's finally decided to listen to me - although it took him almost two years to figure it out. I told him the day that strange Pegasus came to live with Twilight that he was a potential threat, but he refused to listen and insisted on continuing his game with that, as he put it: "pathetic and boring Griffon." I always thought that with the fame that followed the name, The Clawdornian would be far more skilled than anypony I've ever seen, but apparently he's not up to standard, and he doesn't impress my employer.

I've never personally met The Clawdornian, so I don't actually know what he's like, but I've had over two years to keep an eye on Fetlock, and it seems to me that he is quite inept at maintaining the primary school knowledge that gets drilled into our heads, and yet keeps an encyclopaedic memory of the entire history of strange crimes. According to him, it is only a matter of time before crime repeats itself, and with such an expansive memory of all that has happened, then it is that much easier to solve.

That definitely sounds like something that a world-renown detective would say, but I've never even heard of his name. Never once have I met a criminal that cowered or hid at the sound of the name "Fetlock." Each and every time I follow him on his exploits be it at the direct command of my employer or Twilight, he hides everything he can from me. It is obviously strange that he should do such a thing seeing as how currently I am nothing more than just a lowly owl, but for some reason, he doesn't want me to learn anything about him.

It's blatantly clear that he's not as dense as I first thought, but even after all of this warning, my employer still refuses to listen to what I say. Even his right-hoof stallion, Seb, agrees with me that this Pegasus is extremely dangerous to his cause, but that arrogant Unicorn just gives us the cold shoulder and shuns us as if we are both just a bunch of insignificant, shameful failures. It doesn't matter to me whether or not he's safe, because I want nothing more than to see him squirm, but I just want to still be alive when this is all over.

If that bloody stallion would open his eyes for once instead of always hiding in the shadows and pulling on the strings of all the other ponies, then maybe he'd be able to see that he's not the only genius in the world, and that if the world was capable of producing a pony as brilliant as he is, then it is only a matter of time before another comes along and sides with the angels. He's so obsessed with making sure that Twilight won't be a problem, but she is about as important as a jar of sand in the desert, and I'm wasting my time.

There was one point in time where I think my employer just lost it, and almost revealed his face to a detective. It was about a year or so ago when he went crazy, and sent a psychopathic killer that he "found" to come and kill a mare who was potentially less of a threat than my excretion. Sure, Fetlock took her on cases every now and then, and declared to her and her alone that she would be his "apprentice," but if he's not good, then she won't be any better.

Still, that stupid Unicorn sent "Nightmare" to come after her, and almost got me killed in the process. I'm not sure if it actually occurred to him that psychopathic killers don't take kindly to orders, and that they were more likely to do whatever the fuck they wanted to, rather than what he demanded, and run rampant as they toy with their victims. I honestly hope he never thought of that, because I don't like the idea of being at the mercy of somepony who was willing to just throw my life away so they could get a little bit of leeway.

Anyway, his plan failed, Nightmare was trapped in stone due to that crafty Pegasus using a cockatrice, and now, my employer has decided that this detective might have some merit to his name. I can't believe it took him a year to realise what mediocre ponies like myself or Seb saw almost instantly, even though he constantly declares that we are idiots, and that he hates having to deal with pathetic creatures like us. I don't like what he says, but I can't deny that he has _some_ brains. After all, he did mastermind that entire pandemic with Discord, and everything that ensued afterwards.

I'm smart as well though, since I was the one who provided that blood maned Unicorn with what he needed to "beat" this Pegasus. I told him that there was a desk this detective kept safe and never allowed anypony to touch. For a pony of his calibre and eccentricity, this desk obviously held something important inside of it, and with a level of magic so strong protecting it that even Twilight couldn't get through, there had to be something really incriminating inside of it.

After I told him, he sent Silvertongue over immediately and after almost an hour of vigorous work, he finally broke through the barrier of magic that had been set up by Fetlock. Silvertongue was always one of the most skilled users of magic the world has ever known, but for him to have taken that long to open it means that somepony with the powers of the Gods sealed that desk. I questioned how a _Pegasus_ managed to get into to every single time he tried with minimal effort, but it wasn't that important. If I had to guess, I'd say that it was because of a key, but for somepony like him, that seems too boring and unlikely.

Whatever he found in that charred, mahogany drawer, Silvertongue seemed to love it and hid it from me as if it was evidence that he cheated on his wife. I'm still amazed she hasn't found out yet. I've seen Silvertongue tired before, and whenever he's just panting, he'd refuse to do anything else but rest. This time however, he had sweat dripping down his face, but his horn was glowing with overwhelming magic, and I was too terrified to even flap my wings as he worked to copy what I can only assume to be documents.

When he had his own, personal copy, he left, grinning like a mad-pony, and didn't tell me just what it was that had him oh so excited. To make matters worse, when I tried to get into the desk again in order to see what he copied, a few of my feathers were incinerated as I tried to pick the lock. The magic seal was back, and I dare say that now it is much stronger than it was before that stupid, cheating stallion broke through it. I have no idea how magic works, but I've never heard of it doing anything like this before.

Now, I have no idea what Silvertongue, Seb, and my employer know, but I can deduce that it is something interesting, useful, and something they don't think I should know. Maybe this means that with it, I could gain some leverage on them, but even if that's true I don't see any way that I can get those documents. One copy is sealed by some of the most powerful magic I have ever witnessed, and the other is in the hooves of some of the most maniacal, diabolical and criminal ponies Equestria has ever seen.

Silvertongue visited the library a few months ago, and that was when he copied up whatever it was that he found in that damn desk. I want to know, because the thought of something so important that it could put me on the top of the food chain is so pleasing that I would love for it to become reality, but it's best not to live the best life, and just do whatever you can to make sure you live it. They've had a few months, and who knows what they're up to, but they've probably got something big up their sleeve.

All they are willing to tell me is that within the next few weeks, there are going to be a number of enormous developments and that potentially they could reveal the identity of everypony in the "game." I wonder if my employer meant for that to apply to him as well, but he probably didn't. I've never known anypony who said that this particular, crafty Unicorn ever played fair. Maybe, this means that there is more to Fetlock than I first thought, and that the three of them have some inclination as to what the truth is.

I would have found out this, "truth" a long time ago if it wasn't for my employer's menial and countless tasks, Twilight constantly bugging me and begging me to help her, Fetlock's annoyingly keen detective attitude, and that blasted daughter of his. She only came to live with us a little while after the Discord pandemic. Sadly, since Silvertongue said that everything is going to happen in a few weeks, I don't think that I'll be able to do anything about him, nor will I be able to learn anything about him.

Undoubtedly, he'll eventually have to play in a game of wits against the Unicorn of immense knowledge, and indubitably lose, just like every single other pony or creature that has ever challenged him. I sort of want to help him, but I don't think I should. I won't gain anything but satisfaction out of it, and I'm pretty sure that if we fail, I'll never see the light of the day that follows.

If I recall, I think that the last time I met with my employer to give my monthly report on Twilight and her behavioural changes; he mentioned that he grew bored of the Griffon, and that he would soon be useless to him. He said this about everyone though, so it wasn't that surprising. What was surprising was that devilish smirk on his face as he hissed that other detective's name at me. "Micah the Clawdornian." He was obviously one of the best in the world.

It took me ten long years of unbearable hard work to eventually become the best in the world at what I do, and just look at me now. I'm a fucking owl, who is at the mercy of a sadistic bastard and constantly has to babysit a bunch of idiotic and annoying ponies. I can't take much more of this life, and if The King won't do anything soon, then I will. I don't want to, but so help me Celestia; I will rip out Twilight's heart to prove to that twat of a Unicorn that she was never a threat.

I don't know where he got the idea that she would be a threat from, but he's convinced that whatever or whoever the source was, it is very credible, and therefore whatever they said would be worth noting. I wish they told him that Fetlock was a threat too, so he'd just kill him already. Watching Twilight; I don't have a problem with that. But when there's a detective around constantly and coming and going at the most ungodly of hours, then I find it insanely difficult to manage everything I have to do. Silvertongue needs me to make sure Fetlock never finds out that he was there - which I'm pretty sure I've already failed to do -, Seb wanted me to get anything that can put that Pegasus in jail, and The King just wants me to keep doing what I've been doing for well over five years.

I can see though, that there is no point in fighting this, and that when I decided to become the best of the best, that I sealed my fate and made it a certainty that my name would be recognised by this tyrant. I should have sided with the good ponies instead; maybe that way I wouldn't be so stressed, but a life like that is just oh so boring. If I lived a life like that, sure, I probably wouldn't have that sense of fear in the back of my head keeping me alert in case I die, but it would be too plain, and nothing interesting would ever happen. In a game of cat and mouse, the mouse always has the most interesting part to play, and the cat is just there to observe the mouse's genius.

Anyway, morning is drawing closer, and through the tilted glass window that Twilight so carelessly left open the night before, I can see the brilliant hues of orange and vermillion as Celestia's charge rose up above the imaginary border between the Heavens and the Earth; segregating the angels from the devils. Time is passing by so quickly, and most of our lives are wasted being boring, pathetic, and uninteresting. Most of us repeat the same routine on a daily basis, exemplifying the banality of our existence, yet some of us will still proclaim to the world that they matter. These ponies are not, "dreamers," but rather, they are fools.

Today is the tomorrow of yesterday, and today is the day that Silvertongue explicitly told me to prepare for. If I had to guess, I'd say that today is the first day of action, and that starting today, they'll be fucking around with this detective's life so much that he'll wish he was never born. Funny how life can just come around and kick you in the face, but hey, I don't care. As long as I'm not the one that has to die, and as long as I can reclaim that which is rightfully mine by the end of all this, then I'll be content. If I could watch The King die as I laugh in his face, then I'll be that much more ecstatic.

At first, I was very cautious of Fetlock, and even now I think that he is much smarter than everypony else thinks, but I suppose that's why his life is about to be turned upside down. I can hear their hoofsteps now, and it seems his daughter's awake. Only a matter of time before he too rises and the game begins.


End file.
